Doh!

But Samuel replied, “What is more pleasing to the Lord: your burnt offerings and sacrifices or your obedience to His voice? Listen! Obedience is better than sacrifice, and submission [paying attention, taking heed, attentiveness, to listen] is better than offering the fat of rams.” – 1 Samuel 15.22 NLT [words in brackets added from various different translations].

I have been disobedient!

Not once or twice but three times in the last two weeks! Every time, I have heard Holy Spirit in His quiet, gentle way direct me toward a course of action which I then justified away and didn’t do. Not because I don’t love Jesus, just because I had different feelings on the subject and didn’t see any harm in going the other way.

Let me be clear: these are not times where I have sinned outrageously and what follows is a major confession. In fact, many people will look at what I’ve done and go, “So?”. I also don’t live with guilt and judgement over me, but I do realise that I have loads of work still to do in growing into the image of my Saviour.

About two weeks back, I felt I had a picture for individuals in the church. But the service was going that way anyway so I felt my little word wasn’t going to add anything, so I sat on it.

Last week, for this very blog, the Lord laid something on my heart – which will probably still see the light of day – and I felt, as a new blog, to bring something like that would be unwise, so I went with what I wrote last week.

On Thursday, I bought a fridge. Now in the build up, we, as a family, had asked God to provide us a good deal. While in the particular shop, I felt that this was the deal. But ‘in wisdom’ decided to go and price the fridges at another shop. We found the same fridge, talked the sales man down to R5 less that the original and it got delivered. I sent that one back and I am sending back the replacement today – both being faulty…

First world problems! No! Obedience is better than sacrifice. The Lord had the best for me and for His people. I didn’t take heed, or pay attention and talked myself, my congregation and anyone reading this blog, out of a blessing.

God didn’t punish me!

I just don’t know what could have happened with the other options I turned down.

I don’t know what chain of brokenness could have been broken by bringing my picture to the mix during our church service.

I don’t know who would’ve been affected by the blog post.

The faulty fridges wasn’t Him going “Ha ha! I told you to take the other deal!” He knew what was coming. He knew I’d have issues at the other store and I had more choice at the first place.

God deals with us in all manner of ways and in all circumstances and, like the loving Father that He is, he chastises us and disciplines us to bring us closer into relationship and make us more and more in the image of His Son.

I can’t say I’ll obey Him everytime from now on, but I have learnt a lesson which I will endeavour to keep on mind when the choice is mine – obey, or be ‘wise’.

Lord, please help me in my desire to be made more like your Son, Jesus the Christ. May I listen and pay attention to you through Holy Spirit as you guide me toward all righteousness and closer intimacy with You – my living God and Father. May I bless you in everything I say, do and think today and in the days, weeks and months that follow. Amen.